FAKE FACTOR

UHHHH haven't bothered with this blog for ages but I'm in a very inspired/ranty mood so... i would like to begin by talking about the delusion that is X Factor.

A couple of weeks ago me and a few friends travelled up to Cardiff to watch the newly formatted live X Factor auditions (my friend won a bunch of tickets to go). We queued for a good 2 hours surrounded by chavs and some of the fattest people I've seen in a long long time. When we finally got into the CIA it all looked bloody MASSIVE. All shining flashy lights, with a huge stage where the desperate hopefuls would be flocking. While we waited for the auditioners loads of Girls Aloud tunes were pumped into our ears at full volume, basically showing how this was less of a talent competition and more of a marketing strategy. "Maybe if we play these tunes loud enough then this bunch of gullible fuckers will love Cheryl Tweedy even more and buy a Girls Aloud CD while they're doing their shopping in Asda." Yeah good one - apart from I'm a Tesco man and I don't usually fall for processed pop.

Anyway, now to the start of the main attraction. So there was some production guy who entertained the crowd just before the judges came on and throughout all the breaks etc. Unfortunately, his jokes became pretty tiresome pretty quickly and it end up feeling like we were part of the "job" as he directed us to do fake cheers, applaud judges when they weren't onstage, do a standing ovation which they would clearly cut to show just how "great" their handpicked "hero" would be and also to make sure we weren't recording the auditions in any way in case we showed the reality behind what you see on the box.

So the judges eventually came on and everyone cheered and pointless nobodies screamed their love for them. But it was all one big huge JOKE to me. Acts came on clearly to make "good" tv, as the judges made one old man in particular perform 3 songs just to make sure they had enough "humorous come cringeworthy" footage to put on the show with this man clearly being briefed on exactly what to do. I mean its less of a talent contest and more of a pantomime. Everyone boo everyone cheer everyone boo everyone cheer.. who cares, i just want to see talent!

So, the auditions dragged on and to be honest no one was really that great. The judges highly scripted comments were extremely grating and just the general premise of the whole thing pissed me off. I know this is manufactured shit but now I've seen the truth behind it all I can't believe people buy into this shit. For example, one guy was studying music theatre but wanted to give up everything for a pot shot at fame...WHY!? X Factor is in no way a quick route to fame it's a machine which handpicks its contestants and leaves no room for diversity...only the "perfect" few will get through. Anyone can be an artist if they put their mind to it, you don't need a judge to tell you if you can do it or not (I mean if you're actually shit then that's another story...) all you need is to do things off your own back and go for what YOU believe in, not go for the "easy" route purely for the fact that it's incredibly deceptive and it'll frankly chew you up and spit you out...Leon Jackson anyone!?

So yeah, if a show wants to use a mad Czech Milkmaid who likes to murder P!nk songs and protest onstage or a desperate housewife in her 40's who can't sing a note to get ratings then that's cool, because at the end of the day Simon Cowell has made big bucks for himself so good for him. However, at the end of the day I would urge anyone who is thinking of entering this show to realise just how fake it all is and understand that you don't have to go on X Factor to be a Shorn Star.

PS. I will be watching X Factor when it airs in September cos I think it's great TV...just glad now that I understand how it all works and thought I would probably have a rant and get all preachy about this general topic as I'd hate people to get delusional about what you watch compared to what really happens.